How Would You Answer These Questions?

As you look back over the years, how do you feel about your life? Any regrets? Anything you missed out on that you would liked to have done? Is there anything you would do differently if you had it to do over again?

Howard (80): At present I feel very good about my life. My life was not always pleasant growing up during the depression era. I have many regrets. I missed out on a good family upbringing.

As a youngster I was never self-confident about anything due to the many hardships that occurred. My level of confidence changed many years later. I never had a mentor or any other person to guide me through my young life.

My dream and ambition was to grow up and have a good education, find a lovely wife with whom I could have children and make sure the children had a much better life than I. All of my dreams have come true in my later years.

Harry (85): I feel very good about my life. I am healthy and living at the age of eighty-five, have a loving wife of 58 years and three very nice, attractive daughters. I live in one of the best places in the United States, one of the most well endowed and prosperous countries in the world. I have many friends and all of the money that I need, a lot more than I ever expected to have.

Sure, I missed out on a few things. I wish that I had been able to take up golf and other sports at an earlier age. And that I had learned to play a musical instrument. I’m happy with the career path that I followed. I wish that I had had the chance to go on to get a Masters Degree at Harvard or some other well regarded business school.

I wasn’t all that self-confident when I was a young boy. All of the teasing that I got from the twin brothers who immediately preceded me tended to undermine my self confidence. However, my ability to do well in school gave me self confidence as I grew up and my ability to get jobs when they were hard to get during the depression of the nineteen thirties supported my level of confidence after I grew up.

I had no one to serve as a mentor, as no one in my family or even relatives, had gone on to college before me. Like many other children, I dreamed of becoming President of the United States when I grew up, but that didn’t happen, luckily. Other than that, I achieved almost all of my dreams and was glad to do so.

© 2005-2008 Harris R. Sherline, All Rights Reserved

How Would You Answer These Questions?

What advice do you have for today’s young people?  How can today’s young people sort out the avalanche of information that constantly bombards them?  If you could have a personal conversation with people like the President of the United States, a prominent political or world leader, what would you tell them?  What are the most important lessons you have learned about life?  Do you have any observations about getting along with others?

Al (75): My life experience has taught me to be suspicious, if not distrustful, of advice. It is too often given freely, but without any aid to follow it. As a teacher, I prefer to point out as many options as possible and then to encourage students to chose one to develop. Then, I proceed to give some advice:

At the top of my list is the admonition “Embrace life with outstretched open arms.”  

Next I admonish, “Think for yourself.”  I am quick to point out that this is hard work and that it can be dangerous: one had to be responsible for what he thinks.  I add that thinking for one’s self can be fun, even rewarding.

The avalanche of information confronting young people, and everyone, today is formidable. Lessons taught me sixty years ago still apply, probably more so today. Consult several different sources of information to achieve a larger, more balanced view - no easy chore with so many types of sources available, each having its peculiar slant. Question the information and demand answers to your questions. Look beyond what seems to be the obvious.

Sort information from the standpoint of understood individuality.  Be self-reliant and responsible. Avoid pressures to join the herd, to find identity in a peer group. “Dare to be a Daniel; dare to stand alone.”

In addition to the avalanche of information is the growing practice of polls-taking to influence how issues will be perceived and resolved. My banker father often observed, ‘Figures never lie, but liars figure.”

To leaders, I would implore them to stand for real issues and to an affirmation of values = principle, not expediency and political self-interest.

The most important and vital lessons I have learned are: Mind your own business, and Be responsible for your thinking and consequent actions.

James (66): When I think of advice to the young I think of something I have told my classes over the years. That is, never keep a job or a career that you are not having fun with.  Life is too short, but also don’t break the golden rule, which is never leave until you have found another job or career.  I would also tell them that when they are talking with someone they should make that person feel that they are the most important person in the world at that moment.  Never lie because it always comes back to haunt you.  We have seen that come home to haunt the most powerful man in the world, the president of the United States.  I would also say “be up front”.  Tell people how you feel and what you think, but do it in a tactful and professional way, not in a way that’s meant to hurt.

Philip (81): With all of the advancements in communication, and the availability of so much information, it makes it even more important that today’s generation take the time to read and digest the history of the past. From early history, on through the time of the Greeks and Romans, mankind repeats many of the same sad mistakes. War – hatred - domination still are a part of many cultures.  Perhaps with communication and world travel, humankind will find a way to make life more bearable for all of the races.

© 2005-2008 Harris R. Sherline, All Rights Reserved

As you look back over the years, how do you feel about your life? Any regrets? Anything you missed out on that you wish you had done? Is there anything you would do differently if you had it to do over again?

Mary (75): As I look back over the years, I feel that I have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of as a child coming from a poor family. I have had many advantages and have tried to make the best of any and every opportunity that came my way. It was difficult to be uprooted in my childhood and come to America and not speaking English. I remember so vividly the children at school laughing at me because I could not speak English and I could not understand them either. But I soon learned English. Having accomplished that hurdle, I felt confident that I could do anything that I set my mind to.

As I grew up, however, I did not feel so confident. Perhaps it was because I put so much effort in accomplishing goals and expectations that were made of me. I really did not have a special person who helped guide me as I grew up. Since my mother died when I was only eight years old, I missed that influence and my oldest sister became the strong one in the family, helping my father raise us during the depression years. My father was intent in keeping the family intact at all costs, and he did. It was difficult for him raising nine children but he never let us feel sorry for ourselves, providing for us in the best way he knew how physically, spiritually and emotionally.

It was during high school that I decided that I wanted to be a nurse. I knew that we did not have the financial means to do so and so enrolled under a government program and then told my father what I had done. But he did not want me going into the Armed Services and said that we would find the means to do so. After my high school graduation, off I went to the school of nursing where I found my role tending to others. It was while I was there ministering to others that I came to the decision that I wanted to do more and therefore decided to become a religious. It was a difficult decision, knowing that I would see less of my dear family but the call was there and so I entered the Sisters of Providence in 1944. My father reluctantly gave his approval but wished me the best and prayed that I would be happy.

Philip (81): From early childhood I remember the fun and challenges of each day ahead. In retrospect this must have been a combination of many things. A happy family life, a small rural town culture, my parents’ philosophy and a religious church environment.

There was quite an age differential in my parents. Dad was 42 and Mom 20 when they were married in 1905. He homesteaded back in 1885 when Dakota was still a territory, part of the original Louisiana Purchase. They literally started with nothing, sod cabin, few people in the settlement, harsh winters. Dad emigrated from Germany, came as an apprentice shoemaker, worked for the Northern Pacific Railway as it pushed through the northern part of the country on its way west to the Coast. In due time he prospered, in the lumber business, buying and selling cattle and grain, investing in land and farm machinery.

Hebron was a German community, made up totally of immigrants, colonized by the German Evangelical Church. Respect for elders, the clergy and schoolteachers was stressed, understood and accepted.

© 2005-2008 Harris R. Sherline, All Rights Reserved

How Would You Answer These Questions?

When you were a child, from whom did you learn about concepts like “right and wrong” and “good and bad”? Are you a religious person? Do you believe in an afterlife? What role has religion played in your life? Have you become more religious as you have grown older? What role does religion play in your life now? How do you show tolerance for other religious faiths if you believe yours is the only true one? Do you often discuss your religious faith (or lack) with other people? What do you think about people who are apathetic about religion and ethical values? What are the most important values in life to you? What are the differences between the values that prevailed when you were growing up and those of today?

Jane (76): Concepts of right and wrong were stressed in my home, at school, and in church when I was a child. If I was in trouble in school (and I sometimes was), the punishment was reinforced when I arrived home. My parents were strict and there was no misunderstanding where they stood on obeying rules, being on time, or completing assigned duties. Smoking and drinking alcohol was strictly taboo. I also remember no serious disciplinary problems either at school or Sunday School as the other parents in the small town where I grew up made sure their children were also carefully supervised and followed the rules.

Religion has been a life-long learning experience for me. As a youngster, the teaching of a Protestant Sunday School was very much a part of my education. During high school and college, I read books which delved into the basic teachings of Christianity and I attended several different Protestant denomination churches, though I did not become a church member. As I approached adulthood and studied Biblical history, I began to question some of the inequities in the world and the positions the church took on crucial issues, the views expressed by the church hierarchy, and I noted how church sermons using the same Biblical references differed and conflicted with each other. It also impressed me that the “exact truth” of the Bible has changed over the years with scientific, medical, and historical advancements. (For example, sickness and tragedies are no longer necessarily “acts of God” as punishment of sins - there are other known causes). Also it is interesting that there is a basic moral thread and the same special stories that have found their way into the history of many religions. My conclusion is that there is One God worshipped by many religions and no one religion is the only true religion to the exclusion of others.

I do not believe that being apathetic about religion necessarily correlates with being apathetic regarding ethical values. In my experience, although moral values vary from person to person, atheists have just as strong moral standards and values as those who have strong religious inclinations. I do believe that positive ethical concepts should be a part of education, beginning very early, in the home and in school as when as in religious institutions.

Helen (65): I believe we are never alone. When things get too much to handle I know I can turn it over to a universal power and the answer comes.

I have learned that belief, family and friends become more important as you age. In raising children it’s not so much what you say - but what you are doing. I have always believed in being a responsible, caring parent. Even though I divorced, I told my children that they had one mother and one father and nothing could ever change that. We always included my ex-husband in our family gatherings. Nature doesn’t like a vacuum - when you begin moving out of your what you do not want, you automatically are making way for what you do want - by letting go of the lesser you make room for your greater good. Let go!! Forgive yourself and others, it has great healing powers.

© 2008 Harris R. Sherline, All Rights Reserved